Welcome to My Imaginarium

I mean really?  If you are at Starbucks and it takes you more than 15-30 seconds to make the necessary adjustments and additions to your drink at the condiment bar (cream, milk, sugar etc..), chances are you don’t really like that drink you ordered that much.  As a matter of fact, you are probably just making yourself a beverage that they already make.  Look into it.

Allow me to go out on a limb here and say that if an NBA basketball team can travel the length of an entire court, pass the ball around a few times, dribble, make a move to the hoop and more often than not make a basket in less time than you can prepare an already prepared drink, you are probably going to need a lot more than caffiene and a quick sugar high to get things going in the morning.

Continuing with this theme, I would like to make a modest proposal to the powers that be at Starbucks HQ:  Why don’t we put a shot clock above this “condiment bar”.  For design and aesthetic purposed we can call this the “Starbucks Espresso Shot Clock”.  In a selfless act of compromise I would even agree to a college length shot clock (35 seconds), as opposed to pro ball (24 seconds).  If the customer is still unable to please their tastebuds in this time frame they will be charged with a shot clock violation.  The sloth-like drink fixer will then have two options.  Option 1: Throw away your half concocted beverage, get back in line, buy another drink and try again.  Option 2: Try and finish up before your drink gets dumped as the new regulations will encourage fellow patrons, particularly those waiting for you to finish, to knock over, tamper with or dispose of your time consuming latte.

Any reason why we can’t make this happen.  I mean it seems pretty plausible to me.  Maybe first time offenders will even be offered a free drink consultation to help them find a beverage they actually enjoy and an expresso shot to speed them up a smidge?